i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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