whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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