Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
