Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
