i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize