So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
