hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my shit smells like andre
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize