Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize