I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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