guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
