Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
