ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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