i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize