I'm going to rape someone's good day.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If its not for food we ain't going out.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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