I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
if i can run in heels then i can drive
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
