surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I would fuck him just for his dog
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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