i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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