Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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