I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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