You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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