i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
