my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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