just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Shitshow foam night was such a success
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There's even glitter on my cock...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
