They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
