It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
