just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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