well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
