i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize