yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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