if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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