I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize