Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize