Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
