It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize