I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
