Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
