Umm I'm too high to move.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
