I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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