The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Randomize
