remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
the condom got lost in my hair
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
