My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
