so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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