She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
