called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
