The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
