Got a toothbrush?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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