No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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