she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she told me i tasted like america
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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