Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
