Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
