Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
