His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
