He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
