saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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