Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it's like iHOP with fire
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize