Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
