dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
