would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
