What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Do vagina's smell?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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