a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
